Camp GULA

My dad started the madness. "A trip to Bangalore would not be complete without lunch at MTR", he declared. We discouraged him, because we knew how crowded it would be. But he insisted, adding, "If I die without eating there my unfulfilled soul would haunt you". So as good hosts, my brother and sister-in-law yielded. They were piqued too, on what made the place legendary.

With great expectations and greater appetites, we, the family of self-certified gourmets and good cooks reached the gastronomical paradise at 1 p.m. Entry to paradise was closed and 50 fellow bon-vivants waited outside. Jubilant to be a part of the top 50, we waited..and waited..

Our smug expressions were soon replaced by despair when we heard someone mentioning "token". We discovered that they served meals only in batches, and to reserve your seat, you had to buy tokens in advance. A snooty clerk declared that tokens were available for the 2.30 batch..an hour away.

"We can't wait that long. Lets go to Woodys instead" said Dad casually. "What?",we cried in unison, shocked at his turnaround. How could he do this? He had dragged us there. My sister-in-law fought though, " Daddy, dont you back out now. Let's eat here, if only to find out what's so remarkable about this place." She was right. Crowds thronged to MTR like devotees to the Tirupathy temple or shoppers to Saravana stores.

"Dont you have commitment to your goal? How can you give up on your dream so easily?", she averred passionately. Her appeal made sense. We hurried back to Snooty, who snubbed, "3.15 batch open now. Take it or leave it".

Curiosity, dogged determination and blasted hunger made us take it. We killed the next hour(wishing to kill Snooty instead) at scenic Lal bagh playing juvenile games with my daughter.

At 3 p.m we were back, salivating in anticipation. My feminine charms failed on the gruff doorkeeper who cried open sesame only at 3.45. Gruffy elbowed us in as though we were annakavadis minus the thiru-odus.

We didn't react. Tenacity was the leitmotif of the day. In true epicurean spirit, we attacked everything from the sweet to bisibela bhaath to thayir saadam. After dessert and meetha paan, we felt so stuffed, we needed CPR.

Little wonder that on the drive back home, there was no conversation. The silence was pregnant with food and memories of our exploits. I started to doze, a myriad pleasant thoughts of cozy beds, soft cushions and sweet lullabys, caressing me into a deep sleep.

Suddenly, a giant claw forced my mouth open, holding a tadpole.. trying to feed me. I lashed out with all my strength sending the tadpole hurtling down space. Cometh the claw again, this time holding a rat. Next wriggleth a serpent. "Stoppppppppppppppppppppppp", I screamed, fully awake, shivering and drenched in sweat.
"What happened?", cried Amma. Sipping water to calm myself, I narrated the nightmare to my sadistic fellow gourmands who laughed in amusement as they listened.

Not surprisingly, my christian sister-in-law could explain it. According to her, I had committed the Third Deadly Sin- Gluttony or GULA as it is called in Greek. What I had just witnessed in my nightmare, she said, was a demo of how they punished GULA in hell.

Billions of mortals commit GULA everyday!
Thousands of mortals commit GULA at MTR everyday!
4 sadistic mortals(My dad, mom, brother and sister-in-law) connived in committing GULA with me that very day!
One cheeky mortal-my dad-started it all, becoming the ORIGINAL GULA SINNER!

Therefore, my question to God...

Why was "I" chosen for the demo?