Die honorably!

I've always thought I'm invincible. But learning to swim has humbled me.
Today is my eighth day at swimming class and I still can't swim the length of the pool. What a shame! Children do it efffortlessly and I am amazed at how I have let my fear and anxiety cloud my basic instinct for survival.

But I am not giving up. I psyche myself to blow inside the water, do a namaste with my hands then bend, kick and join my legs, while coming out to inhale. Phew!! This isn't easy.

After a few trials of breathing kicking and namasteing, I feel buoyed to swim at the deep end of the pool and call out to eight year old Rohit to watch me(challenging eight year olds can do wonders to your ego).
I dive in and glide gracefully for a few seconds and start my first namaste. This feels wonderful. But suddenly my namaste clashes with another namaste under the water and before I know it I am drowning. " Rohit, heeelllp", I scream. But Rohit can't hear me as even i cant' hear my voice.

I move about in panic desparately trying to clutch something, anything that will save me.
I am terrified.. Of dying? Certainly not. What really scares me now is dying a cowardly ridiculous death. "Woman drowns in a 5 feet pool" the headlines will scream tomorrow. Oh noooooooooo! Can't allow that. I want to die in honor. Don't we all?

In a mammoth effort to save myself from a pusillanimous death, I leap, kick, blow, namaste and ahhhhhhhh find the bar. Eureka. I made it.

I know, that I am living to die someday. But then, I'm dying to live everyday. Today, I am glad to be alive, perhaps to die honorably another day.