Tele Buggies

Tele Buggies are people who bug us on the telephone. Here are some I've encountered with tips on how to tackle them..


'Apram'er

Beware of the 'apram'er. Someone who badly wants to have a long phone conversation, but can't take the onus for it. Whenever you pause while talking to him, he pushes you into carrying the baton of the conversation by simply saying ..'apram?' You fall for his bait and carry on about the neighbour and your dog. When you are just about to talk about the milkman, along comes the next 'apram?'. You take off again panting and puffing and wonder after hanging up, how you fall for it everytime.
Try this when you want to put off an 'apram'er--The moment you hear the question 'apram?', in your meanest voice, hurl a 'vizhupuram' back at him. That should silence the dangerous 'Apram'er!


Cut and Runner

He is phobic to long conversations. Maybe someone told him he'l get electrocuted if he held the line for long. Often , the cut and runner would have hung up to calmly sip a cup of coffee while you are still in the middle of an animated conversation.
To avoid being a victim of a cut and run accident, remember to take a deep breath after every 5 words to check if the line is active.


Just about to call'er

He wouldn't have thought of you for ages. But when you call him, he'd swear that you'll live to be a hundred years. The just about to call'er will not only enquire about your family, your health and everything under the sun when you call, but will also have the gall to ask you for a favour -all at your cost!
The next time you find yourself exploited this way, fight back. Tell him teasingly that he could do all his pleasant enquiries when he calls up and not when you call. Or better still, pretend that you are wanted urgently for some errand, so could he please call you back in 5 minutes and hang up abruptly. That should serve him right!


Comma Caller

The most tenacious tele-buggy is the Comma Caller. His cue to begin is your hello. He cuts the small talk and zooms in with his topic of the day. On and on, he goes whether you are interested or not. So eager is he to share his thoughts, that he forgets the fullstop at the end of every sentence. He is all commas and no fullstop and you are superman if you manage to get in a word edgewise. But fret not.
Here's what you should do when he begins. Place the receiver gently on the table, pick up your ipod, listen to a couple of your favorite numbers and while you are at it, take a short nap too. You earned it. After doing all of this, quietly pick up the reciever and cough or sneeze loudly and intermittently for ten seconds. This will surely disrupt the comma caller's flow and make him pause. Listen carefully for this pause and in between coughs, excuse yourself to drink water, adding that it was wonderful talking to him. That's it. You are freeeeeeeee!


And next time do install caller-id on your phone!