Parenting Blues

When I was younger and blindly in love I never did realize what my parents would be feeling. When my mother used to say, you will feel this anguish only when you have a daughter and she does this to you. Time flew and I did have a daughter. It turns out that this daughter who is all of seven years old is already sure of what she wants. She decides her clothes for the day and what hairstyle to sport etc. She thinks mini skirts are ugly and wild unkempt hair falling all over her face is her coolest look. She conveniently loses her spectacles when she is all dolled up for a party. I suffer in silence and silently offer my apologies to my mother. The recent long drawn argument I’ve been having with my daughter is about getting a haircut. I’ve been reasoning with her that, since she is so averse to having a comb come in contact with her hair, she needs to get the length down to a boy cut level. Her reactions have been violent- screams of protest saying that if I liked a boy cut so much, I should get one for myself first. How do you like that?

Yesterday after a long session of coaxing and reasoning, I finally managed to convince her that she would look most beautiful in a boy cut. And the poor little thing agreed. Whew. That was some victory for me. But later on, as she slept peacefully on my shoulders, I felt a rush of guilt wash over me. My little princess liked to wear her long. What was really wrong with that? If I had my way and cut her hair, she’d feel lousy till her hair grows again. She’d keep regretting that moment of weakness when she agreed for a haircut and I didn’t want even that little bit of regret causing her any pain. I decided that she could grow her hair. Later, I realized I couldn’t sleep for an awfully long time as I was haunted by a single thought. For something as silly as a haircut, I just wanted nothing but my daughter’s happiness and let go. Tomorrow if she chooses the man of her life and I don’t agree with her choice, how on earth am I going to take a tough decision. Parenting is serious business. I am beginning to wonder if I am any good at it!